More Introspection

I have been reflecting a lot these days - maybe it is a part of cabin fever. For you weather watchers, we are expecting a foot of snow in the next 24 hours, at least in the higher elevations, so that means here.

Anyway, introspectively, we have crossed a bridge in our country that I honestly never thought I would live to see. I remember the 'race riots' of the 1960's and the animosity that festered then. I also remember my father and oldest brother being the two biggest racists that I will ever know, my brother being the worst. If they were alive now, they would be sure the world is doomed.

My father was an "Archie Bunker" from All In The Family - they could have modeled the character after him. And yet, that was one of his favorite TV shows. I do not think he understood the main character was flawed; I think he thought he was right. My father hated certain ethnic groups - actually, I think he hated all ethnic groups - but he had an interesting array of friends. One of his best friends was actually a black man who was 'passin' - pretending to be Italian. My father never put that together, even when the daughter was very dark and had very curly hair. My mother told me about the guy having to do what was best for his family and I should not tell my father. The daughter was one of my friends in grade school and we never discussed the issue, as that was how it was done then.

We lived for a time near the Garden State Parkway, and during the riots in Asbury Park a gentleman's car broke down, so he came to our house to use the phone for help. He was very nervous, as he was an African American man entering into a white family's home, pretty far from other houses and in the middle of the night, amidst all the racial tension. My mother answered the door, let him in and gave him a cup of coffee and a couple of aspirin. After he took the aspirin, he panicked and was obviously afraid that my mother had poisoned him. It took a lot to reassure him that there was nothing wrong. I remember pondering how he was as frightened of us as we had been taught to be frightened of him. My father was asleep upstairs during all this. Being deaf, he did not hear anything, and as usual, my mother said I should never tell my father about the incident. But it made me realize that this was a person, not the stereotype that my father, and later my brother, preached about.

My father gave me a lecture once on who to marry. By the time he was done, there was pretty much nobody left! No Catholics, no Jews, no Blacks, no Orientals, etc. I took it all to mean that nobody was good enough for his little girl, but he was serious and threatened dis-ownment if I crossed any of the lines. I will say here, the lines were crossed...

My brother was so prejudiced that he would quit jobs if he were forced to work with someone outside his beliefs. And yet his first marriage was to a woman from a foreign country! Hard to figure, but I am sure he would threaten to move to Canada if he were alive today.

I am sure there are people still like my father and brother today. I hope they are more open to a dialogue to resolve their issues. Or they at least stay quiet.

Okay, This is Cold!

Seems I talk about the weather a lot - and I do! I talk to my friends and they always ask "How cold is it?" I think it makes them feel better about the moderate amount of cold that they have in NJ or wherever. But this week - this is cold! Below zero air temperature and who knows what wind chill. Has not been this cold since 2005, as the local weather caster, Joe Snedeker, likes to point out - and we know how we can trust weather people! He did make one point - people are proud of their cold. It is a competition to see who can take home the imaginary prize for coldest temperature. I think today was minus 15! Okay, you win!

Reminds me of how cold it was when we were looking for this house - should have been a clue, huh? We had the one house we called the 'ice house,' whose driveway was so slick with ice we had to hold on to each other to get back to the car - human-chain style. This week my hubby and I were walking to the bottom of our hill to get to the car and were reminded of that incident as I slipped and grabbed him by the collar, chocking him, to get my balance. We were fine, but he did not appreciate being used as a prop to hold me up! To explain, we park at the bottom of the driveway so there is not so much to shovel when it snows (note 'when,' not 'if'). One detail - when the driveway is all ice, how do we get to the car? Slide, Charlie Brown, slide!

We bought a snow blower yesterday - finally. We give up.

A Trip to IKEA

We have many places to shop up here, but we do not have any place like IKEA. I am a big fan of that store; it amazes me how the furniture and home goods are designed for limited incomes and space. After all, I am frugal (frugal=cheap), and my husband and I have gotten some pretty good deals in the things we need over the years, especially at their original Plymouth Meeting store. This time, we needed a new mattress.

We have purchased IKEA mattresses before; they are usually well suited for our body frames and the cost is affordable. The nearest IKEA is Elizabeth, NJ, so we planned a day trip on a weekday to avoid the crowds. I looked up the directions on their website, thinking they may have insight into a shorter/faster route. I really should know better! After a tour of the Ironbound section of Newark, NJ - following the directions as written - we arrived at the store in time for lunch. Of course, the weekend crowds had depleted the menu items available in the restaurant, so we had some of what was available. Swedish meatballs are always good, right?

Anyone who has purchased a mattress knows you have to do a lot of laying down, and try each type available. After choosing the mattress, we had to load it into the car. Did I mention we have a Toyota? It has flip down rear seats, but this was a queen-size mattress. It would have fit, too, since the mattress is sold rolled and shrink-wrapped - if the car did not have this area behind the seats that frames in the opening to the trunk - if that were not there, we would have simply slipped it into the car. A friendly IKEA employee offered to help, so there were three of us trying to get this inner-spring mattress into a Toyota trunk, yelling at the top of our lungs at each other. The yelling was because the Elizabeth IKEA is next to Newark airport and it was prime-time in jet landing land! At one point my husband pulled the poor employee off his feet (he was a little guy) when he did not hear that my husband planned to spin the mattress around. I was thinking by this time, 'if I see this on one of those hidden camera shows...'

Tying the mattress to the top of the car is not a good idea - we did that once years ago and drove around the Washington, DC Beltway with my husband holding the thing on when a truck sent an updraft and almost sent our mattress (and car) into the next state. We learned then, and several times again with other items, that there always has to be a better way than tying anything on top of the car.

We came home a more tried and true way, but of course now we hit the real rush hour for people coming home from work. So we are in heavy traffic almost all the way home with a mattress sticking out of the trunk of the car. When we reached home, we were so exhausted from the noise, traffic, general stress, that we went to bed like a school night. After all, the next day, we were expecting more snow!

By the way, we did not get snow - we got freezing rain and ice. Much worse for driving. However, I got up last night around 4 am to see the moon coming in our west-facing window and reflecting off the ice covered trees. Sparkling ice crystals and brilliant white snow - Hollywood could not have created a more beautiful scene.

Second Thoughts

When I started this blog, my intentions (always good intentions!) were to post at least once a week. As shown by the dates of the postings, that went well! It is not that we do not have things happen to us, or that there is nothing to write about; it is just the usual inertia that occurs in everyday life.

We started this adventure in the Poconos knowing many of the difficulties, problems, anxieties that would occur as a result. Still, I must admit that the things happening lately have made us start second guessing our original motives. Of course, there is the economy - this area in the Northern Poconos was a little depressed to begin with. The commerce of this region relies heavily on tourism and, fortunately, gas prices made the area a very attractive place to vacation this summer. Now the whole national economy seems to be tanking and history shows that tourism is one of the first things to be affected. Jobs are being cut everywhere, and this area is no different.

Then there is the weather this year. It has affected us a lot, first with power outages and 16 inches in October, then 10 inches last week, followed by freezing rain making roads very treacherous. My husband had a bang up with our car scraping a guide rail to avoid a deer - again! And our other vehicle has somehow 'lost' its Drive and Reverse - it now only goes forward in 1 or 2 (automatic transmission), but if you rev it up, you can shift to Drive. Just do not get caught where you have to back up. However, now that the Christmas holiday is over, we should be able to take it to a 'guy' - he seems to feel it is an easy fix. Hope it is not too expensive.

As a result of these incidents, we are becoming very cautious driving with any type of inclement weather. I hate living in fear that the next incident could be really bad... I am beginning to think Delaware - near the ocean and not that many storms. Could buy a foreclosed house, but then there is selling this one and after what we went through with selling the house in NJ, I don't think we want to go through that again soon.

Then we see the beautiful sunsets, or how the snow sparkles on a clear sunny day. We remember that we do not get the summer heat. We see an eagle fly over our property, and we remember that we have property and rarely see or hear our neighbors. Utility costs and property taxes are relatively low and the people we meet are, by and large, friendly and helpful. Just last week, a guy with a tractor saw my husband digging the car out and asked if he could help. He plowed our driveway, and drove off before we could offer him any sort of remuneration! We have to find him and thank him somehow, even though I know he does not expect it.

I just have to remember the good parts.

Transitions

Just went through another birthday. As one of my friends used to say when I would complain about getting older, "Consider the alternative!" However, an important birthday does make a person evaluate how things have changed and what needs to be accomplished in our lives. The 'alternative' affects more aspects in my life and those of my friends. I do not mean to be depressive, just introspective.

A good friend and former boss recently lost her husband. I envisioned how I would feel if that happened to me - every married woman does. There is an empathy that goes without speaking and a part of you aches. Another friend whom I have known since childhood lost a brother - I can relate to that directly, having lost both of my brothers. We have a bond that does not get expressed, but we read in each other's eyes. A part of childhood is gone. An expectation for the future is removed.

These events, and several others, made me think about the transitions in life. My husband and I moved up here to relieve some of the stress in our lives; stress that would most certainly have killed us far too soon. Neither he or I have any immediate family left, so we hold on tighter to each other.

Begin Again

Our country has just been through a major election. During the campaigns, things are said, accusations are made, and even if they are not true, the accusation cannot be un-said. Why do we believe George Washington chopped down a cherry tree? Because it was said - once - and even though miles of information has disproved the story, people still have the image in their head. The old joke "When did you stop beating your wife?" Never said you did, but now the words have been said and the image is in your mind. Left to germinate, the image becomes an idea, then a truth. It is easier to say the lie than to disprove it.

Thanksgiving is next week. To most people this means getting together with family, eating and reconnecting. In our house, we decorate for Christmas and evaluate the coming year, then my husband goes to work (service/tourist industry, remember?) Turkey can be eaten any day, as long as we have each other.

Surprise!

The end of October, when people are preparing for Halloween, Election Day and SNOW? On October 28th we had the surprise of our lives with a Nor'easter that dumped over a foot of snow on our little mountain top. The weather forecasters (as my husband says, people who never get fired for getting it wrong) predicted 1 to 4 inches with a slight possibility of more 'in higher elevations.' Where are we - Mt Everest? We are only a little higher than Scranton, but we got creamed when they received only a dusting to 2 inches. Of course, we are on the weather line, but people in the next town over did not get even 3 inches of snow.

Okay, so the snow is one thing, but we also lost the cable/Internet connection first, then all power for over 24 hours. My husband and I were so unprepared. We should have drawn water, gotten lanterns/flashlights/candles ready. We should have had wood for the fireplace. We should have had food. We should have parked the car at the end of the driveway. We should have had our winter clothes unpacked, including boots...

For a total of two days we were stuck at the top of our hill, one car in a snow bank, the other buried and without snow tires. We had no heat, as the new boiler furnace was to be installed on October 30 (there is timing gone wrong) and with no electric we could not run space heaters. We had no water, because we have a well with a pump, so we got our old charcoal grill out and melted snow to flush the toilets ("a hobo fire") - fortunately we had just bought bottled water for drinking. It was cold, dark, and we were just getting to the point of calling a taxi, mushing through the snow to the road - which was clear - and staying at a motel when the power came back.

So why didn't we leave and stay somewhere else sooner? Well, experience tells us that power does not stay off that long and we wanted to stay here for our pets and in case anything else happened - like pipes bursting, or whatever.

Things work out eventually. We have power, we have our new heater, and we got one car out to make it to the store. The other car is still stuck in a snow bank, (that happened when we tried to drive it out of its parking place and skidded down another hill on our property) but we are expecting a spate of 60 degree days, so it should be melted out soon. Then again, can we trust what the weather people say??? I think we will be buying a large, gas powered snow thrower soon - our current model is electric and a lot of good that did us.

Foliage

The autumn colors came in perfectly this year in time for the three-day Columbus Holiday weekend. Reports came in about the 'bang-up' business, and resorts being very happy and busy. The gas prices are making people who come from the NY and NJ areas stay closer to home, come to the Poconos, and enjoy the warm, beautiful weather we had this year.

I truly hope people took the time and rode around to view our foliage. There are places even on the major interstate highways where you drive around a bend and are literally awe-struck with the beauty. The colors intertwine before you like a patchwork quilt; a heavy, sturdy quilt that is full and warm and bright. The evergreen trees serve as the counterpoint to the reds, golds and oranges perfectly stitched by Mother Nature. I take pictures, but something about the here-and-now, real-time sense cannot be captured by film or digital images. There is a feeling, a smell, a grandeur that can only be experienced in person.

The people who live here all year do seem to appreciate this time. Locals remark to each other that they try to find the time in everyday life to enjoy our leaves. But there is a time limit on the beauty, a profound concept. Today, many of the leaves have fallen off the trees, still pretty on the ground, but not as grand. We had our warm spell of 70 degree weather - a short burst of steam, if you will - but now the crispness is coming back (okay, crisp is another way of saying cold!). The leaves crunch under the feet and probably need to be raked. I am going to wait; after all, the winds we will be getting soon usually take care of that. Not sure where the leaves end up, but I imagine there is one family who feels as if with all the leaves landed on their lawn. They are probably not too wrong.