More Introspection

I have been reflecting a lot these days - maybe it is a part of cabin fever. For you weather watchers, we are expecting a foot of snow in the next 24 hours, at least in the higher elevations, so that means here.

Anyway, introspectively, we have crossed a bridge in our country that I honestly never thought I would live to see. I remember the 'race riots' of the 1960's and the animosity that festered then. I also remember my father and oldest brother being the two biggest racists that I will ever know, my brother being the worst. If they were alive now, they would be sure the world is doomed.

My father was an "Archie Bunker" from All In The Family - they could have modeled the character after him. And yet, that was one of his favorite TV shows. I do not think he understood the main character was flawed; I think he thought he was right. My father hated certain ethnic groups - actually, I think he hated all ethnic groups - but he had an interesting array of friends. One of his best friends was actually a black man who was 'passin' - pretending to be Italian. My father never put that together, even when the daughter was very dark and had very curly hair. My mother told me about the guy having to do what was best for his family and I should not tell my father. The daughter was one of my friends in grade school and we never discussed the issue, as that was how it was done then.

We lived for a time near the Garden State Parkway, and during the riots in Asbury Park a gentleman's car broke down, so he came to our house to use the phone for help. He was very nervous, as he was an African American man entering into a white family's home, pretty far from other houses and in the middle of the night, amidst all the racial tension. My mother answered the door, let him in and gave him a cup of coffee and a couple of aspirin. After he took the aspirin, he panicked and was obviously afraid that my mother had poisoned him. It took a lot to reassure him that there was nothing wrong. I remember pondering how he was as frightened of us as we had been taught to be frightened of him. My father was asleep upstairs during all this. Being deaf, he did not hear anything, and as usual, my mother said I should never tell my father about the incident. But it made me realize that this was a person, not the stereotype that my father, and later my brother, preached about.

My father gave me a lecture once on who to marry. By the time he was done, there was pretty much nobody left! No Catholics, no Jews, no Blacks, no Orientals, etc. I took it all to mean that nobody was good enough for his little girl, but he was serious and threatened dis-ownment if I crossed any of the lines. I will say here, the lines were crossed...

My brother was so prejudiced that he would quit jobs if he were forced to work with someone outside his beliefs. And yet his first marriage was to a woman from a foreign country! Hard to figure, but I am sure he would threaten to move to Canada if he were alive today.

I am sure there are people still like my father and brother today. I hope they are more open to a dialogue to resolve their issues. Or they at least stay quiet.

Okay, This is Cold!

Seems I talk about the weather a lot - and I do! I talk to my friends and they always ask "How cold is it?" I think it makes them feel better about the moderate amount of cold that they have in NJ or wherever. But this week - this is cold! Below zero air temperature and who knows what wind chill. Has not been this cold since 2005, as the local weather caster, Joe Snedeker, likes to point out - and we know how we can trust weather people! He did make one point - people are proud of their cold. It is a competition to see who can take home the imaginary prize for coldest temperature. I think today was minus 15! Okay, you win!

Reminds me of how cold it was when we were looking for this house - should have been a clue, huh? We had the one house we called the 'ice house,' whose driveway was so slick with ice we had to hold on to each other to get back to the car - human-chain style. This week my hubby and I were walking to the bottom of our hill to get to the car and were reminded of that incident as I slipped and grabbed him by the collar, chocking him, to get my balance. We were fine, but he did not appreciate being used as a prop to hold me up! To explain, we park at the bottom of the driveway so there is not so much to shovel when it snows (note 'when,' not 'if'). One detail - when the driveway is all ice, how do we get to the car? Slide, Charlie Brown, slide!

We bought a snow blower yesterday - finally. We give up.

A Trip to IKEA

We have many places to shop up here, but we do not have any place like IKEA. I am a big fan of that store; it amazes me how the furniture and home goods are designed for limited incomes and space. After all, I am frugal (frugal=cheap), and my husband and I have gotten some pretty good deals in the things we need over the years, especially at their original Plymouth Meeting store. This time, we needed a new mattress.

We have purchased IKEA mattresses before; they are usually well suited for our body frames and the cost is affordable. The nearest IKEA is Elizabeth, NJ, so we planned a day trip on a weekday to avoid the crowds. I looked up the directions on their website, thinking they may have insight into a shorter/faster route. I really should know better! After a tour of the Ironbound section of Newark, NJ - following the directions as written - we arrived at the store in time for lunch. Of course, the weekend crowds had depleted the menu items available in the restaurant, so we had some of what was available. Swedish meatballs are always good, right?

Anyone who has purchased a mattress knows you have to do a lot of laying down, and try each type available. After choosing the mattress, we had to load it into the car. Did I mention we have a Toyota? It has flip down rear seats, but this was a queen-size mattress. It would have fit, too, since the mattress is sold rolled and shrink-wrapped - if the car did not have this area behind the seats that frames in the opening to the trunk - if that were not there, we would have simply slipped it into the car. A friendly IKEA employee offered to help, so there were three of us trying to get this inner-spring mattress into a Toyota trunk, yelling at the top of our lungs at each other. The yelling was because the Elizabeth IKEA is next to Newark airport and it was prime-time in jet landing land! At one point my husband pulled the poor employee off his feet (he was a little guy) when he did not hear that my husband planned to spin the mattress around. I was thinking by this time, 'if I see this on one of those hidden camera shows...'

Tying the mattress to the top of the car is not a good idea - we did that once years ago and drove around the Washington, DC Beltway with my husband holding the thing on when a truck sent an updraft and almost sent our mattress (and car) into the next state. We learned then, and several times again with other items, that there always has to be a better way than tying anything on top of the car.

We came home a more tried and true way, but of course now we hit the real rush hour for people coming home from work. So we are in heavy traffic almost all the way home with a mattress sticking out of the trunk of the car. When we reached home, we were so exhausted from the noise, traffic, general stress, that we went to bed like a school night. After all, the next day, we were expecting more snow!

By the way, we did not get snow - we got freezing rain and ice. Much worse for driving. However, I got up last night around 4 am to see the moon coming in our west-facing window and reflecting off the ice covered trees. Sparkling ice crystals and brilliant white snow - Hollywood could not have created a more beautiful scene.